Cases of disobedient children whose parents feel they have lost control of, are quite common.
That is why I use my knowledge as a life coach and apply it in my family with my nephews.
Gabriel is a 6 year-old loving child. He was born with a cleft lip and palate, in addition to suffering an oxygen failure for a few seconds at the time of his birth. This caused a ventriculomegaly in his brain, which affects cognitive and language areas. This condition may be reversible, and the results of different treatments have proven positive in several cases.
Despite his short hearing, Gabriel has great musical talent, which he is developing through percussion and by playing the drums, his favorite instrument. He has an excellent memory, good level of understanding, creativity and physical energy.
In an effort to convey our love to Gabriel, both parents and relatives have been permissible and indulgent to him, thus encouraging a subsidiary, undisciplined and authoritarian personality.
Our mission as parents, which entails raising children with spiritual values of respect and love (depending on family beliefs), but at the same time independent and confident children, cannot be neglected.
As responsible adults, our social commitment involves fostering assertive personalities who know what they want and acknowledge their rights and duties. It also means to raise them in such a way that they become emotionally balanced adults who have their own life projects to achieve their goals, that is to say, individuals with ability to excel, who fit in society as unique beings. Summing up, our social commitment implies bringing up successful men and women.
Going back to Gabriel’s case, he has had feeding and language problems due to his cleft palate.
At this point, it is important to be clear and set up a goal for him to be met in a limited time while at the same time being firm with the options offered to him. In his particular case, the only option is to eat on his own or not to eat at all. Adults must be firm in not assisting him and avoid treating him as a different child.
All this will make him feel and realize that he is as capable as everyone else.
To enter Gabriel's world I used teaching games. He loses attention easily, and therefore it is necessary to maintain his positive emotion throughout the activity by congratulating him on each achievement and encouraging him to keep on and finish. Once the goal is achieved, the stimulus should be reinforced with praises, so that he experiences the feeling of accomplishment and a sense of personal achievement.
Building up a pleasant atmosphere without being flexible with rules helps a lot. Consistency and discipline are essential in all cases.
Socializing with their peers, children within their age group, helps them to identify themselves and learn from others. In Gabriel's case, Sofi is his 6 year-old cousin.
She is a very sweet girl with excellent communication, analysis, learning and memory skills, and she has been a great help in Gabriel's process.
Sofi clearly understands that we must all work together to contribute to Gabriel's development, to his own wellbeing and to our family harmony.
We have used recreational activities to draw life projects for children.
One such project is to design steps to achieve a goal. This activity should be conducted throughout our lives to achieve any goal. Let's bear in mind here that planning is key to success.
Example # 1 - Upper left graph: The goal or prize is going to the park. To achieve it, Gabriel must follow the required behavior.
Eating on his own
Bathing and dressing by himself
Doing his homework
Remaining seated in the car
Example # 2 - Lower left graph: The goal is to vacation with Sofi and family to a hotel with a pool.
The steps that children should follow are:
Eating on their own
Remaining seated during the trip
Pray, play and do exercise with the family
Give love through respecting each other and obeying adults
As part of this target, children were encouraged to learn and participate in family activities such as praying to thank for all blessings brought to us by the day. Then they practiced new games like table tennis, table soccer, athletic competitions on their level, a singing contest, and individual and team dance.
This is a way to encourage them to love sport and healthy life for themselves and for their family members.
Children were winners when vacation time was over. Each received an Iron-Soul t-shirt as a way of greeting and rewarding them for achieving each of the goals set.
The happy result is that Sofi and Gabriel are two new iron souls who build up a happy world of successful men and women.
Should you have any queries or comments, please feel free to contact me at:
HYPERLINK "mailto:Estelaortiz@iron-soul.com" Estelaortiz@iron-soul.com